There’s no easy way to say it, facing the end of life can be really hard. It’s a difficult transition for everybody. The whole purpose of end of life coaching is to make sure that this sacred transition is done with peace and love for everyone, including those left behind. This is about leaving no unfinished business. Sure, when someone dies they no longer have to deal with the details. However, others do. Here’s something that will make things a lot clearer.
Aging with Dignity has created The Five Wishes. These are things to think about if you get seriously ill. The questions are: Who is the person I want to make care decisions for me when I can’t? What kind of medical treatment do I want or don’t want. How comfortable do I want to be? How do I want people to treat me? What do I want my loved ones to know? I believe it would be a wonderful thing if each of us took some time to answer each of these questions and put them with our other important papers, like our Advance Health Directive, Will or Trust and any other important document that you want people to know about.
Many people pretend that death is not going to happen to them. They don’t consider what they want, how they want it or how it might impact those left behind. This may be because they think they have plenty of time (which they may not). Or maybe it’s because it is too painful to think about. Or there may be other reasons. I believe that it’s harder if one doesn’t consider the impact that NOT thinking about this will create. I’ve asked many people what they want to have done when they die. Lots of them say they want to be cremated. Well, that’s okay, but what about the other details? What about where they want their ashes to be placed? Do they want to be buried, spread out to sea, or taken to a special place?
Other questions to ponder about are what kind of service or celebration they want. What music, if any, do they want to be played? People talk about their playlist but don’t have that written down anywhere for someone to know about or even locate to play it. What messages do they want to impart? Would they prefer to only be with their closest people? These questions are just the beginning.
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful relief to those left behind if all of these questions were answered? I know when my father-in-law was dying my partner and I had to figure this all out on our own and had no clue where to begin. We knew he wanted to be cremated and have some of his ashes placed next to his wife in the church. But we had no idea about the details that needed to be considered, or the expenses that were going to be incurred. Needless to say, it was incredibly stressful.
One of my jobs is to help you complete any unfinished business that’s been too hard for you to deal with. What better time than right now? Getting your affairs in order can bring you much relief. Getting current with the people in your life is a beautiful experience. Speaking from the heart and being heard is healing balm. Love is the beautiful energy that we can complete this lifetime with and pass on to others. I can’t think of a more beautiful transition.
If you would like a free copy of "The Five Wishes" or an "Advance Health Care Directive Kit" please request a copy on our Inquire Page or call 650.757.1300.
Kathy L Jacobson is a Certified Life Coach trained in various modalities and has partnered with Colma Cremation and Funeral Services as a Pre-Need Arrangement Counselor. She can be reached at 415.518.5790 or kathyljacobson.com. You may also reach her at Colma Cremation & Funeral Service 650.757.1300 or firstname.lastname@example.org.